logic, 0.

so its getting really out of hand. she seems to believe everyone is out to get her, and she doesn't trust a word anyone says. she has taken to talking bad about her best friends behind their backs. we have to tip toe around her whenever we hang out with her because the slightest thing she doesnt like just sets her off and she falls out with us for days. it's horrible.

obviously if i say something, and it is not interpreted by the female in question as nice, she will take offence to it. the thing is, females take offence to EVERYTHING. im not going to maintain a close and healthy relationship with you for months on end and then suddenly say something horrible to you, and this is one of the most basic and fundamental flaws in the mindset of females.
they cant understand what was trying to be said, only their interpretation of what they heard. 

to continue

from the musings of the other day..

Basically, me and two friends have started up a non profit organisation to promote upcoming hip hop artists around London. now to begin it's the three of us, me, my best friend, and our mutual and very close friend (who is female.) This is the same female who is 30 years old who i have been sleeping with for a couple months.
Now when she suggested we start up this organisation, i was already a bit wary. I want to do it, definitely, but the prospect of conducting regular and consistent business with someone im sleeping with.. did not appeal to me.

Everythings going fine, we have our first recording session next month to take cameras and video to a gig in central London and record everything that happens, we will be interviewing artists and featuring them on our website, blah blah blah.
Now around this time last month, maybe a few weeks ago, I gave this girl the first orgasm she'd had in a long time. She is 30, so i dont know how long she means when she says that, but that's what she said.
And since then, she has started acting like such a fucking psycho. I mean a PROPER psycho.

The other day we went for one of our usual drives into central london, to eat some food, go shopping, she pops into her cleaning company building to sort out some admin, whatever. We ended up arguing all the way home and i dont even know what we were arguing about. she has just started taking whatever i say and whatever i do and turning it into the worst possible version, and throwing it back at me.
Or she will be completely fine to my face, and i'll think 'oh thank god maybe shes back to normal'
then as soon as she gets home she sends me these huge convoluted facebook messages explaining why she wasnt happy with whatever id been doing that particular day, despite smiling and kissing me and offering me spliffs the entire time.

I cant handle this shit. i wish id never slept with her. i want this business to get off the ground and start running properly, start promoting new artists and associating with established acts. i want all this to happen, while i'm still doing a completely unrelated course at university, while i'm writing a novel, while i'm trying to write my own music. i can just about juggle all these things together, but what i cant do is constantly have my business partner and co-founder be fucking INSANE.
the other day she even asked me if she had turned psycho since i gave her that orgasm. i answered yes, and she laughed like it was nothing. and she continues to act the same towards me.
i wouldve thought, if a woman hadnt had an orgasm in 'a long time', once she finally had one itd just relax her even more and stop her caring so much about shit. like getting really high, or something.

but no, apparantly it makes you absolutely crazy, causes you to defy all logic, become a hypocrite, and generally a bit of a bitch.

went to a feminist meeting

the other day. it was horrible. just a bunch of self righteous hairy lesbians talking about how people only see them as self righteous lesbians (the hair was more of an elephant in the room). the amount of time i spent in the meeting was disproportionate to the amount i needed a cigarette when i left. some of my friends are active feminists and i got dragged along. now im glad i went, coz i know never to go again.

MUSINGS FOR THE DAY:
at college there was a girl. i was deeply and utterly in love with her. i would tell her regularly how willing i was to give her my world, to spend all the money i had on her just to make her smile, just how devoted i was to her happiness. she would regularly brush off these advances and tell me she just enjoyed being friends and nothing more.
im currently fucking this one girl, who loves the filthy stuff. i write abrasive and degrading words on her body with her lipstick, tie her up and gag her and then fuck her, light up a cigarette in her non-smoking flat, and then leave immediately afterwards and dont text her until i want sex again. and she is in love with me. she tells me she will do anything for me, and i treat her like absolute dirt.

women of the world, your logic is flawed

Really, really good day

yesterday. The 30 year old im currently fucking took me out into central London, where she has lived all her life. It's the first time ive travelled into central in a car, and apart from the freezing cold it was a nice day, the sun was out, etc. she bought a big bag of weed before we set off so we were smoking all day. we drove through the estates in hammersmith, through the high streets in central, past the Albany (one of my growing favourite pubs in central) and around Islington. she bought me a three course Mediterranean dinner and then we went to see Chronicle in the cinema (it's alright, could've been better). then she had to make a quick stop at the business she owns, and no one was in because it was late at night, so while she was sorting out jobs and stuff she left me in the main lounge, it was a big georgian room with a grand piano in the corner that i sat and played to myself.
the house can get pretty messy and my old house is much too far away to just pop down for a weekend, so i'm always stuck here.  it was nice to get away.