earlier this evening when i genuinely felt like i wanted to kill myself. actually thought about suicide. im just writing this down so i know it wasnt a dream when i remember it in a week or two.
i think i need to go back to london, back to my house, where i can chain smoke and drink whiskey all day.
if i dont cheer up after a week of being back in london, im gonna go and see a doctor. i dont know but i think this is what being mentally ill feels like
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